Monday, March 31, 2014

Chapter: Uni is Awesome

So while Jed was sleeping off his big freak out, Ally and I check out the house.  It’s way bigger than Jed’s Grandpa’s place. Like, way.  Like there’s actually rooms, and stuff.  And we don’t have to eat outside.

Ally takes the small room in the back, and Jed and I take the big room in the front.  Mostly cause that’s where Jed crashed.  And also, there’s a bed that doesn’t eat people, ha.

Saturday, March 22, 2014

Chapter: Have we Graduated Yet?

Yeah so we’re finally here.

Jed’s asleep.  He stayed at the library like for two days straight cramming for the placement test and then he had the freakout of all freakouts. Worse than Prom.


“Dude. We can get you another hat…”

“It was my STUDY HAT! I lost my STUDY HAT and now I CAN’T REMEMBER ANYTHING! ANYTHING!  I can’t remember THERMODYNAMICS! I can’t remember SIM’S LAW!! -- DUB! I can’t remember THE RIGHT HAND SCREW RULE!!!!”

“Can’t help you there buddy, I prefer goofy style myself...”

“I can’t remember TRIGONOMETRY!  I can’t remember DIFFERENTIAL CALCULUS!!!”

“Well, uh, maybe you won’t need it…”

Okay that was the wrong thing to say.  He’s freaking out so hard, man, it’s hard to get a word in.

Ally’s back from work. She looks at me and I’m like, ‘help’.  She shakes her head.  “Yo, JED. Math sucks.”

Saturday, March 15, 2014

Chapter: Murphy's Bed, Murphy's Law

Man. That was a close one.  I always knew like making the bed was a pain in the ass, but like, it can actually kill you.

Like seriously.  I totally saw my life flash before my eyes, man.  And, you know what?

I really need to get laid.

Saturday, March 8, 2014

Chapter: Her Name isn’t “Dolly”

I can’t stand it, man. The llama has to come back. She has to.

I mean, I’m not LAVAR. I’ve like, done stuff with girls. But like, it was hard you know? Ha, ‘that’s what she said’, right. No but it was.

When Jed and I started high school Ma picked me up at school the first week. You know, not embarrassing at all.  She made me show her everyone in my class.  Well. All the girls in my class.

“The Whalley girl, no.  The Beckham girl, no.  Your father spent time with both of their mothers, never can tell.  The Sekemoto girl...well she’s sure Sam’ okay.  Boyd’s daughter is obviously safe, but she’s one of Tori’s, so you can’t bring her to the house. Not that she’d come anyway.”

“Uh, Precious is like Jed’s AUNT.”

“Well good then, that’s solved. Who’s left in your class?”

Other than Jed’s sister or like, dudes, no-one was left. No girls. Zip.

I fooled around a little with Barbara Sekemoto, but like, I was a Spiffington and her dad was like, ‘No Spiffingtons’,  and then, Antoine Alto went after her, so.  We never did it.

But one good thing about Jules being all popular and stuff, she had girls like from her class come over and hang out.